Choose Your Weapon 🔥 I’ve carried many different weapons in my 16 years of working police special operations. SWAT, which stands for Special Weapons and Tactics, allowed access to resources most people will never imagine, but I continue to use the only one that both protected and convicted me. God’s Word can be simply words on a page, or your source of life. You can ignore them or cling to them. You can even choose to misuse them to hurt others or understand them to save you

Remember When Remember last December when there was so much hope and optimism about the new you in the new year? There was something magical about 2020! We were going to have our best year yet because there would be perfect vision for our prosperous lives. Don’t give up hope! I’ve seen more about who I really am than I ever have and probably want to. There is a mighty work in the works and like everything worth having, it isn’t going to come easy. It’s time to be safe, smart

Casper Ghost was the word I once used to describe myself. After decades of serving the public and being at the core of making sense out of chaos, I’d become a social ghost. A non-factor in making a daily difference in people’s lives. We get this unrealistic image of what retirement is supposed to look like, and once we arrive, it’s like making hotel reservations at some scam vacation site. This is especially true for cops who mash their identity to what they do, as opposed to

Honor This past weekend at church, the pastor opened service by talking about the events of September 11, 2001. He honored the sacrifices of the men and women who lost their lives in the police, fire and first responder community. There was a tribute video for a local officer killed in the line of duty. When they showed that his widow and daughters were in the congregation, it was a powerful moment. Then it began, I could feel my body beginning to heat up as the pastor talked

Shut Off In the spirit of full disclosure, I’m writing this behind closed doors in my office on a beautiful Saturday afternoon while my wife and kids go about a day without me in it. It’s not because anyone is angry with each other. My wife knows and is fully aware of why I’ve once again isolated myself in the office. I woke up and realized why it was that I’d been near impossible all week. Even up to the night before, my wife said some of the things I had said were “strange”

March Madness: Day 10 Maybe he did know… I’ve posted this picture of “little me” before and mused that there was no way the me at this age could’ve imagined the life he’d grow up to live. But on second thought, maybe there was a flash of what was to come after all. There are seeds sown into our spirit that when watered by the experiences of life, tend to grow in a general direction. While being a cop wasn’t my childhood dream, compassion for the victim always was. While highe

March Madness: Day 8 Had I only known… Have you ever been thrust into a situation and figured, what the heck? Well, that was kinda the way I began a 16 year SWAT assignment. They needed bodies to fill spaces, and since mine was fresh out of the basic training academy, I guess they figured I either was ready, or expendable. It was a natural fit. The more chaotic, the more I thrived in managing it back to order. The irony was that SWAT led me into some of the most violent and v

March Madness: Day 3 Better late than never! I have a dear friend who has been everything from an encourager to a no-nonsense accountability partner. I used to ask “Why now?” They laughed. Why after so many years has God begun using me into my 50’s? Of course the answer is simple. I was a work in progress, and most of that work was breaking me free from everything that prevented Him from using me years earlier. I’ve been divorced, was usually pretty hard-hearted because getti

25 Days of 31: Broken and Blue “How long does it take you to write a book?” I’ve been asked that often. My reply for a full-length novel is about 30 days for the first rough draft. Lifetime This book, Broken and Blue has taken about 30 years. No, not because I wrote it slow, but because it’s the story of most of my life. I don’t mean the chronological account, but the parts that affected me most – the good and the bad. Police work takes a heavy toll, but it’s often the life

24 Days of 31: How Could You? I was talking with a friend this week. He only knows I was a cop at some point, at some place, for some time. It was never important to tell him details because it’s not what our friendship is based on. Men Men especially, find their identity in the work they do. Being a husband, father, friend or follower of Christ always falls behind the career. So I was surprised that he brought it up and to be honest, I couldn’t tell you what he does for a li

I’m thankful to be a part of Five Stones University’s online self-improvement course development. I was able to design several courses just for men. The first two are 30-day challenges that lead brothers along a daily walk toward restoration. This new course, Breaking The Chains Of Past Pain was created using God’s words of instruction and encouragement as a foundation for your life. It’s very personal, as I also share so many difficulties I endured while struggling with the

No, not the gray hair or the lines etched strategically across my weathered face. What I finally see is what’s no longer there. It’s Not There The hard, stone-faced expression that held hollow eyes that had seen too much. Or the worried frown from a quarter century of digesting everyone else’s trauma without healing from my own. I don’t see the rigidity in my battered frame from a life of hypervigilance, hard physical abuse through specialized training or living on a few hour

8 of 31 Days: It Was Me Have you ever felt your spouse’s tears roll across your shoulder? Over the last few weeks Leah and I had engaged in what we like to call, “spirited fellowship”. While